Three reasons why you need a girl gang and why I don’t have one.
I always tell people that I grew up being the only girl in my family. While that isn’t technically true (my girl cousins on my mom side grew up in Cali, while the other grew up in Long Island) I didn’t get a chance to bond with either of them as I barely even saw them on holidays. The people I did grow up with were all of the male persuasion. Ten guy cousins, two brothers, and me……lonely me. I learned very quickly that feelings where for suckers, video games were better than a tea party, and if Barbie had the AllSpark, her pink convertible would transform and fight along side Optimus Prime. Needless to say, I picked up a lot of what is considered “guy culture” and suppressed what intrigued me. I vividly remember watching a Barbie Christmas special and changing it when one of the guys came around. It wasn’t until I met three girls my age in church, I realized I didn’t have to hide. You see I’m one of those women who can be overly girly. I like pink, I like to dress up, and I want all the shiny things I walk by. Being around those girls from church (who I happened to still be friends with) allowed me the opportunity to be myself. You know what’s funny? The guys didn’t even notice my change and treated me the exact same way and honestly, I wouldn’t have any other way. To this day I’m a huge superhero fan, (Hulk would totally smash Thor), I can sit down and play video games with my husband, and I can appreciate a good ole fashion roasting from friends. I learned a lot about guys by being “one of the guys” but I much prefer being over here sitting in my tufted, velvet pink chair where feelings are ok and Barbie has more power than any superhero (who runs the world?) Because this was my life growing up, having female friendships are extremely important to me because lets face it… guys don’t get it. Here’s why they should be important to you as well.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus
To this day I don’t understand how my husband navigates the world. I don’t understand how he communicates with other guys. I don’t understand why he thinks so linearly, and I really don’t understand why he thinks he has to fix everything when all I want him to do is listen. Men and women are different in many ways and sometimes it’s just good to be around someone who navigates the world as I do. Someone who realizes why I need three different ankle boots and why they are different and a necessity. Someone who is willing to listen, empathizes, and nurture without trying to solve my problem. Women companionship simply offers a different perspective and adds balance.
According to this article, a study done in UCLA found that women seek out friendships with other women as a way to regulate stress. Women are far more social in times of stress than men. This article explains that our bodies are hardwired with hormones that aid us in dealing with stress very differently then men. While men have a fight or flight reaction to stress, we want to come together to talk and work it out. Women use validation and encouragement to help their friends navigate life. That’s what I need!
Having a group of people you know, who you can call on whenever you need them is something everyone needs. A group of people who love, accept, and guide you is a something I value and wish I had. At some point in my life I felt like I had that, but then life happened. My friends grew up, had babies, and don’t live close to me. While I am married, I don’t have kids and oftentimes get left out of the baby conversation because let’s face it, what is a diaper genie and can it fix the travesty that was Celine’s last runway show? I know they love me and I love them, but life is different, we are in different stages in life and life happens. I’m currently looking for ladies to fill spots in my girl gang. Luckily, for you ladies, it’s open enrollment! Any takers?
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