Why Valentine's Day is Problematic

Before you roll your eyes and declare, “She ain’t got no man!”  Let me just inform those of you who are new here that I am married and have had a Valentine for my whole adult life.  This has nothing to do with me ever feeling lonely or hating men. I love to love and think that it is the most magical thing in the world! However, there are so many reasons why Valentines Day is problematic and can be tricky to navigate.

It can hinder people from dealing with their true feelings

Galantines Day (the day before valentines day) is meant to be a celebration for you and your closest girlfriends. It’s meant to celebrate the love and friendship you have without any mention of a man. I consider myself women’s women so I have no problem with celebrating my gal pals! As great as this holiday is, it doesn’t replace the want in your life for romantic companionship. Though I think that it is a great way to show love to your sisters, it’s can be seen as a replacement holiday. I think that if this holiday wasn’t observed as the antithesis of Valentine’s Day I would appreciate it more. I think we live in a world now where it isn’t ok to say that you want a boyfriend/girlfriend. We live in a world now where everyone has to be strong and nobody has the right to say they want romantic companionship. It’s really impractical as a lot of us were built to navigate the world in pairs. Celebrating your love for your girlfriends is fantastic however it doesn’t negate the fact that you want romantic companionship… and that’s ok.

It’s a forced holiday

My husband and I go out often. We go out to dinner every week and every Tuesday we go to the movies. He buys me gifts all the time and tells me he loves me daily. Now if you know me you know that I don’t like to be told what to do. The fact that someone from a long time ago made up a holiday that dictates how and when I love is absolutely insane! The things that people do on Valentines Day my husband and I do weekly. If we don’t take it up a notch on February 14 does it mean that our relationship is doomed!  I don’t think so. The whole holiday is super weird to me.

It makes people feel insecure. I had a family members who use to work in an office where all the other ladies would get flowers sent to them by their significant other on Valentines Day. It pained her to watch these other women be showered with love when she had a husband too. One year, because she got sick of not getting anything from her significant other, she decided to order herself flowers and sent them to her office from a “secret admirer”. Her husband found out, was confused about this admirer, and wanted details! To this day he has no idea that it was her! She knows that her husband loves her. He takes great care of her and treats her like a queen! But because of this one day, he didn’t buy her flowers and send them to her job it made her feel insecure.

With all that being said I still love love! The grand gestures people do in the name of love are heartwarming, the special Facebook proclamations of love are annoying but heartfelt and I can never say that love is a bad thing. This Valentine’s day I won’t be at dinner, I won’t be dressed up, I’ll be home with my husband who is my every day Valentines doing what we do every waking second of every day…. loving each other with all our hearts.


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